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Nablus, West Bank, Feb. 2007
He was not doing so well, and
he was so old. Suffering is suffering is suffering. And not being able to breathe is
suffering in a horrible way. His two children were there with us; they were my age, early twenties.
We finally got him up the steps, they lasted forever, and I was so tired at 2 in the morning; but not as tired as him.
We made it into the ambulance and after a short drive we pulled up the driveway to the hospital. As
we opened the back door the Israeli Army pulled up in two armored personnel vehicles. They ordered us to all get out and line
up and throw our cell phones down on the ground and show our I.D.’s. We were a marked member of the
International Federation of the Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies. We were told to take the patient
out in the cold night air; he had no shirt and no blanket and could hardly breathe with asthma and pulmonary edema.
I asked the soldier if I could give him oxygen and he said no. So I asked a second time, making
sure he knew that the man couldn’t breathe, was not doing so well and needed oxygen, and he again said no.
At that moment I hated that soldier for not letting me take care of my patient and wondered that
if it was his father or a person of his religion, if he would have let me give oxygen to him. The other
medics argued with the soldiers. After 15-20 minutes we were given permission to leave and told that we
would be shot on site if we were seen leaving the hospital that night. What was special about this night
I never found out; other nights had more fighting and the soldiers were in the city almost every night. We
went inside the hospital and straight to the Intensive Care Unit were the patient lay for the rest of the night, then we tried
to sleep in uncomfortable chairs until we left the next morning.
The city of 400,000 people were left with no ambulances to answer
their 911 calls because all the other medics were terrified of leaving the hospital.
Jenin, West Bank,'07
A boy of 12 was shot today
if he knew the consequences
would he have picked up the stone?
I saw him alive and well that morning
and later that day, but he was in a coma
with death just around the corner
the light was not there
and neither was his own breathe
I watch the hand squeeze over and over
forcing air
into little lungs
so that his body and brain may live
but the light was already gone
his eyes died before his
heart did
Child Birth in Haitian Slums 12/07
A call for a woman in delivery at 6:30 in the morning.
We walked down a small alley to the house where they talked to a woman for 40-60 seconds, then I finally realized (long
after they all did) that the baby had come, so we immediately went in to check on the child, it was breathing well and
looked okay, still attached to the umbilical cord and was lying on the floor. I asked how long ago it was
delivered and they said three minutes. I realized that the ambulance did not have a delivery kit or even
clamps. I was not trained to use string and did not know if it would work. (We got the
blood pressure cuff to check the mother to see if she needed urgent care (she didn’t). So they brought
string and I tied it in the middle of the cord so if it didn’t work as a clamp then we could tie a knot in the
cord to stop the bleeding. I looked over, just in time to see another woman pull the placenta out with a tug on the cord,
i cringed, what a no no. Eventually the cord was cold so that meant there was no chance of hemorrhage and I felt better about
cutting the cord. Everything turned out okay.
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To a nameless number of patients
Long days and long nights
where it starts and where it ends
I breathe in your last breath
and
I feel your last beat
I return your last look
and I listen to you family's cries
while catching the tears
falling from their eyes
but I walk away with your blood on my shoes
after a short time we part
I move on, and
so do you
The most delicate girl; Eastern Chad
I remember the most delicate girl
with a body so thin and doomed
but with a heart
bigger and stronger
and far healthier than the one beating in her body
I remember the frustration and hopelessness
in the doctor's voice
as he battles beurocracy and economics to save her life
and send her on a magic carpet
to a magic doctor
The last time I saw her she was sitting on the doctors lap
white
on black, black on white, hand in hand
the best of friends holding a friend for the last
time
but I was not there when she lost a friend
and that friend lost a life
and when she couldn't bare
the injustice and sadness
she closed the door
so I was not there when she cried.
Haiti,
12/07
A man is lying in the back of the pick-up truck, he just arrived at the station. There are a lot of
Red Cross volunteers and coordinator around. He had a knife wound to the stomach and to the back.
I grabbed the kit and was told to put it back that it can be done on the way, they loaded him on a back board and threw
him in and got going. It was me and another medic in the back and I bandaged the wound while the other
medic did paper work, and a third medic in the front said the pulse and breathing were okay, that he had checked it before.
They weren’t because the patient was cold, pale and diaphoretic, with tachycardia and loss of consciousness for
short periods. He died en route and we started CPR, but the horn, lights and siren on the ambulance were
broken so the third medic ran out in front to clear traffic, we were going very slowly to the detriment of the patient, maybe
he was in V-Tac, a shockable rhythms. If we had an I.V. with solution that would have countered some
of the blood loss and maybe he could have gotten into surgery to stop the bleeding before he died. Two
days before I wanted to buy I.V. and solution and an Ambo bag for the ambulance so the Nurses who volunteer on the ambulance
can start I.V.s in situations like this, I was told that the administration would think about it. 3 days
later they said yes and we had these important things on board. At the hospital they continued CPR but it was too late.
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